The umpires strike back

cricinfo Australia reports:

The New South Wales Umpires and Scorers Association (NSWCUSA) will today print an advertisement in Sydney's Daily Telegraph in support of Darrell Hair, the sacked umpire who accused Pakistan of ball tampering during the Oval Test against England in August.

The full-page advert is expected to appear in Saturday's edition, and in copies throughout the week, as a written attack against the ICC chief executive Malcolm Speed. The final line of the statement reads: "You and your ICC should all be ashamed of how this has played out".

How nice it would be if battles such as this could also be sorted out on the field of play!

Hmmmm, hang on a second. On second thoughts, that would be the first step to further chaos. It would involve another tier of cricket administration for settling their on-field disputes - and so on and so forth.

Imagine this high voltage match between Umpires XI versus ICC XI at SCG. Darrell Hair bowls Malcolm Speed round his legs with his version of the "ball of the century" and erupts in a bout of wild celebration. Then he notices keeper Taufel's very different expression and turns around. Percy Sonn (neutral guy - hence umpire) is stretching out an arm signalling no-ball. Darrell cannot believe his eyes.

"Why the heck did you do that?"

"You chucked it again son."

Ross Emerson - skipper of Umpires XI - walks in aggressively from the covers with a white kerchief dangling from his waist.

"What the @#!?.....c'mon Percy, Darrell's bowling leg spin now. I told him to do it and you have just confirmed my doubts. This is ridiculous. We refuse to play out this farce. Boyz, we'll leave the field right now."
.........

There, you see?