Cricket buzz

Psychiatrists and plastic surgeons of Hampshire, in no particular order, are having a tough time attending to an unprecedented number of female visitors from various age groups. All of them have a common reason for depression: Not getting that sms even after sighting Shane Warne.

While on medicine, sure you already heard about the invitation received by half the English side for turning up as live demo during a session on 'Joints: All that can go wrong will go wrong' at the world sports medicine forum? Insiders say the boys are sore about the invitation, coming as it did only after the Pakistan Board refused it.

By the way, guess who are the fastest of friends in the Pakistani team?
The openers, of course! They spend so much time together in the dressing room.

Meanwhile, Irfan Pathan has instructed a ghost writer to start work on his autobiography. It will be titled 'The sine wave'.

His skipper Dravid is looking grumpy these days. Reason: He sees no further scope of using the word 'historic' for describing India's away performances in future tours. 'Historic' found its way into the Indian skipper's larynx at the time of 2004 Pakistan tour, charted its course through Zimbabwe and other controversies, got itself another skipper and exhibited lasting power in its new abode till the recent West Indies tour. Some fringe players of India expressed secret envy at the h-word's knack of ending up as every Indian skipper's favourite.

Glenn Mcgrath comes back to international cricket and immediately wants Troy Cooley to make him a 'faster' bowler. The university of biomechanics would do well to stop their usual arm twisting fare and check these Australians for intake of some strange potion that reverses ageing.

The seeds of doubt were sown as Australia kept inducting new players aged 30 that continue to improve with age, and now this Shoaibesque desire from the monumental metronome after attaining grandfatherhood in a veteran Australian side! Reincarnation is a favourite theme these days; and who can say with any authority that John Buchanan was not Getafix in an earlier birth? On that note, I am willing to bet my earnings that Merv Hughes is none other than Obelix reincarnated.

Accomodating international guests is going to be a problem in the sparsely populated Caribbean isles during 2007 world Cup. The West Indian team have discussed the matter and graciously agreed to "take a trip on a sailin' ship" for the nights they have to spend at venues most pressed for hosting space. Maybe the smart Calypso guys plan to maximise performance by staying bouyant.

There's some opposition from the selectors though: Brian Lara's overbearing desire to be a captain is an area of concern with that gesture, they point out.

[sources: unreliable]